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If your mother and your wife fell into a river at thesame time, who would you save first and why?

媳妇和妈同时掉进水，你先救谁？

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原创翻译：龙腾网翻译：wolface 转载请注明出处

Anonymous
Ok, SoI assume, it is difficult to save the other one if I try to save one. Nobody isdrowning close or far, both are at a distance which is too much from coast. Ididn't just consider past only but thinking the after effects of the decision itake, forced me to come to following conclusions.
If Ihave children, below 15, I will have to save my wife first. I, my wife ormy mom has sorted their life out but those kids need their mom. Thinking aboutmy choices, my wishes over my kids' future? that's not what my mom taught me.
If Ihave children, above 18-22, I and my wife are around 50, Mom around 75-80, Iwill have to save my wife first. Wife has spent her 25 years staying away fromher parents and home, trusting me as her reason for living further in life,serving my family, serving my mom as her own mom, So she deserves to get oldand see her future with her kids and me.
If my children are less than 5, I will have tosave my mom first. Though I will not, but for eliminating options sake andcoming to a decision asap, no one can ever replace my mom, but a wife who ismarried to me for few years can be. Moreover, kids are not much old, they cancope up with new mom if i find myself not capable of growing them up alone.(Yes, I heard that you just abused me for thinking this way and giving up mywife but sorry, If i wont take decision now, i will see none of them, I have totake a decision which causes 99% of harm instead of 100 to the future of mykids and me.)
If Ihave no children and not more than 5 years i have spent with my wife then Iwill have to save my mom without thinking twice.
If Ihave no children and we are married for more than a decade, then I will jump inwater, swim towards the one who is farther, hold and bring her nearer to otherone, bring both of them to shore. I can't imagine the load of regret i willhave to life throughout rest of my life by leaving one of them and trying foranother one first. It may happen that I will end up with none of them survivingbut imagining about saving one I will have to face myself in mirror thinking Ihad gave up my mom's life for a girl whom i met after 25 years of age, notthinking about the pain my mom has suffered so that I can grow till this pointof taking such shameful decision? OR I will have to face parents who sacrificedtheir piece of heart for life time to stay in other home and serve my familyand I let her die in front of my eyes.
Yesthese are applicable for all above cases too but there, I have children, a newlife which has to be taken care of as my mom did for me and as her parents didfor her. Whoever I will lose in those cases, will understand my pain anddecision.
P.S.There may be a lot of haters for this answers because of they will be thinkingabout me being selfish and not saving the other one forgetting the reason whichI wrote above but I will agree, I couldn't actually explain the reasons wellenough for above choices which my mind was saying. Most people can even thinkabout how this guy can imagine such terrible conditions.
People,it's what I will do, if you can actually be in such situation, you will alsothink the same way or else try to think about your future in other case.

假设，如果两个人掉入水中，距离岸边同样远，而且拯救一个人意味着很难拯救另外一人。当我在做决定时，我考虑的不仅仅是过去，还包括对未来的影响，所以我得出了以下结论：
如果我有孩子，年龄都在15岁以下，那我会选择先救我的妻子，虽然我的母亲和妻子都在照顾他们的生活起居，但是孩子毕竟是需要母亲的。在决定时仅仅考虑我自己的感受，而不考虑孩子的未来吗？这不是我的母亲所教诲我的思维方式。

如果我有孩子，年龄在18-22岁之间，我和妻子的年龄大概在50岁左右，而母亲年龄是75-80，我仍会选择先救我的妻子。因为，妻子离开自己的父母和家庭，出于信任而选择和我生活，为我的家庭付出，像对待亲妈一样照顾我的母亲，所以她有资格继续生活下去，来陪伴她的孩子还有我。

BarbaraCarleton, Survivor
Myfather, my husband, and my 5 year old daughter fell from an overturned boat ona pond. They were in way over theirheads and none could swim efficiently.
I wason the bank and I was their only support.
Myhusband grabbed a floating cushion under one arm and my daughter under theother. They were afloat, at leasttemporarily.
Myfather was going under.
Igrabbed a fishing pole from the bank and went in toward my father until hecould reach the pole. I then swam forthe overturned boat which was still afloat from trapped air underneath.
Myfather held to the boat and I took my daughter from my husband's arms and swamto the bank with her.
Uponreaching solid ground I looked back and discovered that both my father andhusband were clinging to the boat which had followed me to the bank BECAUSE MYDAUGHTER'S SHOE STRINGS WERE ENTANGLED WITHIN THE LINE FROM A FISHING POLEWHICH WAS LODGED IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BOAT.
Allsurvived.
Youdon't 'decide' what to do.
Youjust do it.

我的父亲、丈夫和5岁的女儿在池塘里翻了船，掉进了水里。他们距离岸边太远，所以根本就游不回来。
当时我站在岸边，我是唯一可以救他们的人。
我的丈夫一手抓住了漂浮垫，另外一只手抓住了我的女儿，这样就可以漂浮在水面上，尽管这是只能减缓溺水的时间而已。但是，我的父亲却正在沉进水里。

我从岸边抓起一根鱼竿向父亲跑过去，好让他抓住这根鱼竿。然后，我就朝着这个由于底部空气仍然浮在水面上的船游过去。
我的父亲抓住了船，然后我从丈夫那接过女儿，带着她向岸边游过去。
当我抵达岸边时，我发现父亲和丈夫都抓住了向岸边漂去的船上。因为我女儿的鞋带缠在了置于船底上的鱼竿线上。
最终，所有人都获救了，你不需要“决定”做什么，只要努力去做就够了。

SyedMuhammad Waqas Sarwar, Winter is Coming!
In theHistory of the Arabs, there is a story about a woman and her relatives who werecaught by a Tyrant king’s army and brought before him. Her family included herbrother, her husband and her son. I will write it down in my own words as Iremember it.
Whenthey were brought before the King, the woman pleaded for mercy. The King said,“Okay. I will spare one of the men upon your request but you have to make thechoice. But know this, whatever choice you make, it will haunt you for the restof your life.”
The airin the court grew thick with anticipation as the people awaited the woman’sresponse. Whoever she chooses, she loses two most important relatives of herfamily. So far, half an hour after the question was posed to the woman, therehad be no screaming or pleading for mercy. No, no more. The King sat upon histhrone, awaiting the woman’s choice. His executors ready, right there and then,to obey his command and execute the unfortunate two. No one spoke, but everyonecould feel the anticipation that hung thickly in the air.
Then the woman broke the silence with her words that shookeveryone in the court, “I choose my brother!” The King rose from his throne,surprised but excited to know the reasoning behind her decision. “Why?” heasked.
“My husband, if I lose him, I can marry another. If I lose myson, I am still young and GOD will bless me with another. But my brother, Icannot have another. My parents are dead and I have no other sibling.”
The King was amazed by her answer and smiled as he waved hishand, “Your wisdom astonishes me. Any other would have chosen their son but notyou and for good reasons. I applaud your courage and wisdom.”
“Go! You are all free!”, the King Said as he waved at hisservants to free them.
-END
Somy answer to the question is; I will save my Mother. If I lose my wife, I canhave another, but I cannot have another Mother.
Edit:
upxe:
Thingis, it's a scenario where you can save only one person. It doesn't mean whoeveryou do not save means you hate them or not love them.
Secondly,going through the comments and other answers, it's clear to me that the personyou'd want to save is defined by which society you belong to. Like for example,people from the west appear to always go for their wives while the Easternpeople favor their own parents. You know why?
Becausethat's how societies of both East and West have developed. That's how they are.People will kick out their children when they turn 18 under the guise of “Letthem be independent”. Then when these parents are old, the same children putthem in the old houses or just leave them behind and visit maybe once a coupleof months or so. Why? Because that's what their parents did to them. They neverformed that connection with each other.
Whileparents will almost never kick out their children in the East, no matter howmuch a burden they are. Same way, people tend to keep living with their parentseven when they're married and have kids. The parents get to be taken care ofand also get to spend time with their grandchildren.
Surethere are cases otherwise but that's not the norm. It's frowned upon to notkeep your parents with you in old age.
It'salso a religious thing that encourages people to take care of their parents.They have the most right upon you.
That'swhy you cannot understand why I chose this answer. And also because when youlose your parents, specially your mother, only then you really realize what shetruly meant to you and how much she loved you. Because sometimes we take thingsfor granted. I believe only parents love you unconditionally, specially yourmother.
Butwhile all that is to just explain the context of the different form of thoughtpatterns. The real answer to this question is that there is no right answer.There cannot be. Just because you saved your wife because of whatever reasonsdoes not mean you will return home and live happily ever after. No.
Theguilt of not able to save your mother will eventually kill you. That's howheavy the guilt will be. You will find reasons to justify your choice and youwill make hundreds of excuses but it will never go away completely. And samefor the case where you do not save your wife.
Inboth cases, there's a common thing that survives that will eventually kill youand that's guilt.

我曾经听过一个关于阿拉伯人的故事，在故事里，一名暴君的军队抓走了一名妇女和她的家人，包括她的兄弟、丈夫和儿子。下面，我会把我还记得的故事内容写下来：
军队将他们带到了暴君的面前，这名妇女请求暴君饶了自己的家人，然后这名暴君说：“当然可以，不过，我只能允许你挑一个人。所以，无论你选择谁，你的选择都会让你终生难忘。”

当人们都在等待这名妇女的回答时，大厅里的空气瞬间显得凝重了。无论她做出何种选择，她都会失去其他重要的亲人。半个小时过去了，面临这个难题，这名妇女再也没有惊叫或者请求饶恕了。这名暴君就坐在王座上，等着这名妇女的选择。暴君的刽子手就站在旁边，等待暴君的命令一下，就立刻处决另外两名不幸的男人。大厅里没有一个人说话，但是人们对这这名妇女选择的期待感愈发加强了。

不过，以上仅仅是解释了不同的思维模式而已。对于这个问题，最真实的答案就是，根本没有答案。如果你因为某个原因将自己的妻子救回，但这不代表你们回家后会过得很幸福，这是不可能的。
因为，如果你未能救起母亲，这种罪恶感甚至会要了你的命。这就是罪恶感给你带来的沉重感。你可能会找出多种理由来合理解释自己的选择，或者你又会找出上百种借口来为自己开脱，但这种罪恶感永远都不会结束。当然了，如果你未能救起自己的妻子，结局也是一样的。
无论在哪种情况，结果就是，罪恶感会最终会杀死你。

Parshva Shah, Structural engineer
Ohh well nice question.
First of all i will think like one human. (I can not waste mytime on thinking who is more important for me beacuse they both have equalright to live in this beautiful world) So as i am thinking to save both of themso no matter to whom i save first or last.
In reality you can save both of them by so many way by takinghelp of others, by throwing some material which help them to swim or atleasthold themselves so for some more time.
NOW LETS MAKE QUESTION MORE COMPLICATED (of course not sorealistic)
If you have only one option either you can save your mom oreither your wife than to whom you will save?
NOW ANSWER FROM MAN
He will think first logically that who is nearer and more chanceto be survived, he obviously save her first. If either of them is far away andif he jump to save her first he will lost both of them. Men are not such afoolish. ;)
Now take case of that in which both have same probability to getsurvived (very rare case)
In this case I will survive one who say me "don't jump andrisk your life to save us. This river is very deep you may also loose your life"And obviously this can be only one and only your MOM.
Note: My answer doest not show that wife are less important inour life but it represents some sacrifice for one person who has done countlesssacrifice in her life period only for me.

这个问题问得好！
首先，我会按照一个正常人的思维去解答这个问题（我并不想浪费时间来说明掉进水里的人，究竟哪一个更重要，因为所有人都有生存下去的权力），所以，无论是先救谁后救谁，最终我都想要把她们救下来。

在现实中，你可以通过多种方式来救下所有人，比如，向别人求救、向她们投掷救生物等等。
现在，我们更深入地讨论下这个问题（在现实中不太可能发生），如果你只能够救一个人，你会选择救自己的妻子，还是母亲呢？

如果从男人的角度来回答这个问题：
按照正常罗辑，男人肯定会先去救那个离自己更近的人，如果先去救那个离他较远的人，那么也许两个人都活不了。男人可不蠢。

现在，我们假设二者拥有相同的生存几率（这种情况很罕见）
在这种情况下，如果有人冲我喊“别跳下来，水很深，不要为了救我们丢掉自己的命”，那么我就会先去救这个人。当然了，会喊出这句话的人，只会是你的母亲。

注：我这么回答，不是说妻子对我不重要。只是，在面对一个为我不断付出和牺牲的人，为了救她，我也只能做出一定的放弃和牺牲。

Eivind Kjørstad, Father of 3
It's not random that the two you're asking about is mother andwife, is it ? In too many places it's common for women not to be able to swim.(or swim well)
I've got several friends, especially from the Middle East who donot know how to swim. This is a terrible idea for someone living on a planetthat's 75% covered with water.
Furthermore swimming is both healthy and fun, and is quite easyto learn. All the people in my life know how to swim. Including my 7-year-olddaughters. I've taken great care, and seen to it that they've spent many hoursin the pool learning to swim.
Both my wife and my mother could without a problem swim a mile.The situation is thus not likely to ever arise.
If you're someone I care about, and you don't know how to swim Iwill teach you. I don't care if it takes 5 hours or 50 hours of practice beforeyou master it, I'm willing to spend this time. It's worth it to me.
If an emergency still arose, I'd try to rescue whomever seemedto be in most trouble first.
But really, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound ofcure. If your mother, or your wife, or anyone else that you care about does notknow how to swim well, teach them. It's not hard, in fact it'sfun. And knowing how to swim will make them a lot safer in many situations,even when there's nobody around to "rescue" them.

这个问题里假设是母亲和妻子掉进水里，其实这并不是一种随机的选择，对吗？毕竟，很多时候女性都不会或者不擅长游泳。
我的几个朋友，尤其是中东的朋友，都不会游泳。面对一个星球表面75%被水的生存环境，这个问题可真是够难为人的。
其实，游泳是一件健康而且有趣的事情，学起来也很简单。我的家人，包括我7岁的女儿，都会游泳。在我们的关照下，他们每天要在泳池里游上好几个小时。

我的妻子和母亲可以轻易地游1英里。所以对我而言，问题里的情况不太可能发生。
如果我关心一个人，而且他恰好不会游泳的话，那我一定就会去教他的。
如果发生紧急事件，我会选择去先救那个最危险的人。
但是，防胜于治。如果你的母亲、妻子或任何人不会游泳，那你就去教她们吧。这不是什么难事，实际上这还挺有趣的。而且，如果周围没有人可以施以援手的时候，学会游泳可以让她们更加安全。

Peter Masullo, Government Employee atFederal Government of the United States (1993-present)
Well,quite the dilemma you pose. Imagine being the unlucky shlub that has to choosebetween saving the woman who gave him life and nurtured him versus saving thewoman he shared vows to protect and to hold. So, lets go ahead and acknowledgethe elephant in the room…this doesn’t happen. Sure, you can create someconvoluted scenario where the bank of the river collapses exactly between youand the two most important women in your life and you need one hand to hold onto a tree…blah blah blah. But the question remains, you have the power to saveyour mother or your wife, pick. The question demands that you will save one andthe other will die. Your choices are:
1. Save your wife…let mom die.
2. Saveyour mom…let your wife die.
Thereis no third option. You cannot contrive a sequence of events that preclude youfrom choosing. The question states, in a bubble, you have the power to saveyour wife OR your mom…choose.
Ichoose my wife. Here my reasons in the event it matters to anyone.
1. Ivowed to protect my wife. I made no such vow to my mother.
2. Mymother would gladly surrender her life to protect any member of her family. Mymother would be pissed if I chose her over my wife.
3. Ibelieve in visceral reactions to life and death matters whether we realize themas such or not.
a. Iwould instinctively reach for my wife since she is my reproductive pair.
b. Parentsshould die before younger family members. Its the order of things.
c. At mystage in life, my mother means less to me than my wife for many practicalreasons.

好吧，这可真是一个进退两难的境地。把你想象成一个倒霉鬼，必须要在养育自己的母亲和发誓要保护的妻子之间选择救一个人，所以，让我们来迎面处理这个人们经常会回避的问题吧。你可以设想出一个复杂的场景，比如说，河堤崩溃，你生命中最重要的两个人都面临生命危险，而你的一只手需要抓住树干上，等等。但是问题没有解决，你只能选择去救一个人，是救你的母亲，还是你的妻子呢？你的选择会决定一个人的生与死。

1. 选择妻子，母亲死。
2. 选择母亲，妻子死。
我的答案是：选择妻子。如果大家认为有用的话，我把我的原因分享给大家：
你根本就没有第三个选择，也不可以通过假设某些条件来拒绝做出选择。所以，问题就是：你只有能力去选择救自己的妻子，或者母亲。

1、我曾经发誓要保护好我的妻子，而我也同样对我的母亲做出同样的誓言。
2、我的母亲心甘情愿付出自己的生命来保护自己的家庭成员。如果我选择放弃自己的妻子，那么我的母亲一定会很愤怒的。
3、无论我们是否意识到到这一点，面对生死抉择时，一个人的本能反应是十分重要的。
a. 我会本能地去救我的妻子，因为她是可以和我养育后代的配偶。
b. 老者应该走在幼者之前，这就是生命的规律。
c. 在我这个年纪，我妻子的实际意义要大于我的母亲。

Ryan McCarthy
The question isn't about swimming, it's about being conscious ofrelationships and priorities. This is important even when everyone'sdeath isn't imminent, and you should try to sort it out because we're all onesmall slip away from death all the time.
A parent's job is to send their children off in life, to outlastthe parent. In this, the other parent is an equal partner. The wifeshould have priority over the mother and any kids involved should have priorityover the wife.
"I'd just react" isn't an answer. You spent moretime typing than you spent thinking about it and need to try again. Youmight find that you have a better relationship with your parents, spouse andchildren if you realize that any of them could be taken from you at any timeand treat them like they mean something to you.

其实，这个问题关注的并不是在于你是否会游泳，这是在考验你对家庭成员的关系和优先权。即便我们并没有遇到生死考验，认清楚这种关系和优先权也是十分重要的。所以，你应该把它弄清楚，毕竟，我们有时候距离生死真的是一步之遥。

父母的使命就是在生命中推动着自己的孩子前进，让他们生活地比自己更加长久。在这种情况下，父母中的另外一名配偶是拥有同等优先权的。所以，妻子的优先权应该大于母亲，而孩子的优先权则应该高于妻子。

“我只是在做本能反应”，这根本就不是这个问题的答案。你们花在打字上的时间，远远多于你们思考的时间，所以再次思考一下吧。当你意识到，你的父母、配偶和孩子可能会随时因为意外而离开你时，你就会和父母、配偶和孩子们建立起更好的关系，并把他们视作重要而有意义的事物。

Dmitriy Sintsov, former Web programmer atYaroslavl State University (1995-2014)
Yourwife should be saved first. Because your wife is your half. Marriage is there-uniting of halfs from the separated whole man in the heavens gardens.
Butcurrent feminism and ultra-liberalism encourages treacherous behavior of thespouses via mass-divorces and endless relentless struggle in families, thusmore and more of men will chose to save the mother, which is unhealthy to men.
It iseasier to save mother, but religion suggests opposite because easy path is notalways a proper one. Not only the mother is not your half, but a half of yourfather, but also the same blood line love is corrupting. Men who are too muchattached to their mothers rarely are successful.
That'swhy I still try to defend my wife despite many years of terrible relationship.Yes one may divorce but that is not desirable when one has children from thatwife.
Weare egoistic when allow to love and support only our own bloodline. Realmiracle of love occurs when man and woman of different bloodlines meet and loveeach other.
Bloodlinelove is the corruption and inefficiency of the society.
Thereis also another wrong and tragic thing in our Orthodox culture. Not only menare attached to their mothers but women are even more attached, because towomen it is less damaging to stay spiritually united with their mother.

Awaix Javaid, My biography....ask me, I am not Al-Pacino :P
Thisis a very harsh question. I am a male but i will answer it from anotherperspective.
Mymother, she raised me, taught me, groomed me and above all there is something,she is my mother. Not every woman in world can be her. She je is just one.
Mywife, she comforted me, held me when I was falling apart, gave me her deepestand purest love unconditionally and above all there is something, she is mywife. Not every woman in world can be her. She is just one.
Thereis a very bleak line between mother and wife. Both these relationships aredelicate and sweet. I can never choose one. It will be huge injustice to one ifi pick the other.
Butif you force me down to choose one, i will go with my wife. I have my ownreasons for that. So coming to quora and asking such questions only raises asense of irrationality that you want to ask something for which you alreadyhave answers but want to ask it so you can mock people. If someone chooses one,and it sounds immature to you, then you are in no condition to judge people.Because you don't know their life situations.

这可真是一个棘手的问题，我是一个男人，但我会尝试着从另外一个角度来回答这个问题。
我的母亲养育了我，最重要的是，她是我的母亲，世界上再也不会有人能够替代她，她是唯一的。
在我失落的时候，我的妻子能够安慰我，并无条件地把爱给予了我，最重要的是，她是我的妻子，世界上再也不会有人能够替代她，她是唯一的。

母亲和妻子之间存在一条很难察觉的界限，但她们对我来说都是为微妙而又甜蜜的，所以我从来都不会轻易地做出选择。一旦我选择了其中一人，都会对另外一人产生巨大的不公。
但是，如果你们强迫我去选择一个人的话，我会选择我的妻子。当然了，我有自己的原因。所以，你们来Quora来问这样一个自己早就有了答案的问题，不过是想要来嘲笑他人而已。如果别人做出的选择让你觉得不满，你就会跳出来评价别人。但是，你根本就不知道他人的生活状态！

Rick Edmondson, lives in South-eastEngland
Nothingreally to do with the question, but Mark Twain observed that in assisting at afire in a boarding house, the true gentleman will always save the young ladiesfirst – making no distinction in favour of personal attractions, socialeminence, or pecuniary predominance –and firing them out with as much celerityas shall be consistent with decorum. He felt there were exceptions to allrules; and partiality in the matter of precedence may be shown to:
1. Fiancées.
2. Personstoward whom the operator feels a tender sentiment, but has not yet declaredhimself.
3. Sisters.
4. Stepsisters.
5. Nieces.
6. Firstcousins.
7. Cripples.
8. Secondcousins.
9. Invalids.
10. Young-ladyrelations by marriage.
11. Thirdcousins, and young-lady friends of the family.
12. TheUnclassified.
13. Babies.
14. Childrenunder 10 years of age.
15. Youngwidows.
16. Youngmarried females.
17. Elderlymarried ditto.
18. Elderlywidows.
19. Clergymen.
20. Boardersin general.
21. Femaledomestics.
22. Maleditto.
23. Landlady.
24. Landlord.
25. Firemen.
26. Furniture.
27. Mothers-in-law.

21、女仆
22、男仆
23、女房东
24、男房东
25、消防员
26、家具
27、岳母

【龙腾网】媳妇和妈同时掉进水，你先救谁？